While I was in Cuba a couple weeks ago, I took a few minutes to think back to the first holiday we had spent there. As I did so, it struck me that this would be a good point from which to start sharing my story, my weight-loss journey, my history, my whatever you want to call it. For me, it's just my life and the baby steps that I've taken to get from then to now. So, here it goes:
This is me in Cuba in March 2004. We had a fantastic trip in this eclectic & unique country. We stayed at a great resort, explored Havana on a day trip, went on a snorkel tour and enjoyed taking pictures with our new digital camera. However, weighing in at between 215-220lbs and wearing a size 18 and sometimes a 20, I was at my heaviest for the second time in my life. My weight and appearance burdened me and inhibited my ability to really enjoy myself.
Because my husband is the one who enjoys photography, he hid behind the lens while I was in most of the shots. I remember being horrified as we showed the pictures from our trip to our families when we got back. I mean, I knew that I had had to buy new bigger clothes for the trip because my honeymoon wardrobe no longer fit; but, I hadn't really realized how big I had gotten. The weight had just crept up on me.
I don't think that the path my life took to get to that point is much different than what a lot of people have experienced.
Growing up, I was a dancer. I didn't play organized sports. All the activity that I needed to stay fit, I got from dance class. When I finished high school in Regina, I was healthy and weighed around 160lbs. However, by the summer after my second year of university in Saskatoon, I had gained enough weight that I no longer felt like myself.
I think this happens to a lot of people when they move away from home for the first time. I ate out at least once a day, sometimes up to three times a day. My favourite was McD's. Then add on top of that the mass consumption of beer! That, combined with the fact that I was no longer dancing (and didn't really know how to 'workout' any other way) and it's no wonder I gained the "freshman 15" and then some!
To say that I didn't know how to workout is not ENTIRELY true. I had, after all, seen the Billy Blakes infomercials and had purchased the 4-pack VHS set of TaeBo workouts. It was going to be the answer to my prayers....but, of course, that's not the way it worked out. It was a tad overambitious of me to think that, at that point, I was capable of completing a workout of that intensity. My inability was deflating.
However, when my boyfriend left university to pursue his professional training, I was determined to lose weight while he was away. My dad helped me buy a treadmill and I started walking. My diet was still a complete train wreck, but I walked enough to lose a few pounds during that time. At his graduation in February 2001, I was still wearing plus sized clothes, but I felt a bit better about myself. Unfortunately, it was short lived.
We got engaged and I went to live in Beauval with my man for the summer. I was once again almost completely inactive and I spent countless hours in front of the television with a bowl of chips never too far away. I worked as a substitute teacher at the school and I cleaned rooms at the fishing resort. We had a lot of fun fishing and exploring the area, but I also spent a lot of time by myself while my fiancee worked long hours.
When I went back to complete my fourth year of schooling in the Fall, I was at my heaviest weight of 220lbs for the first time. I was 21 years old. It was embarrassing to say the least.
With a wedding in the works, I re-dedicated myself to my treadmill. My friend Heather and I hit the gym and we started counting weight-watchers points together. During Christmas break we went dress shopping with my mom. I found my dress. It was a size 18, but I took solace in the fact that even if I didn't lose another pound, I would look alright in it. We took a picture of me in the dress at the store; and, on the days that I didn't feel like walking it served as motivation.
By the time we were married in October 2002, I was able to do the entire TaeBo workout and I was down to 175lbs! The alterations my dress required were SUBSTANTIAL and it felt FANTASTIC! I was even able to buy some cute clothes for our honeymoon in Jamaica (going from plus size to regular size made everything seem cuter...even if it was a size XL!).
However, with the wedding done, I totally lost my motivation and the treadmill started to gather dust in the basement. It's ridiculous, but it's true. I fell back into the bad habits of being isolated, turning to food and forget about doing a workout! When we moved to Cumberland House that summer, I was already back at 195lbs. And I continued to gain weight because I continued on the same path. We were living in a different place, but the circumstances were mostly the same.
As I said, by the time we were going to Cuba 1 year and 5 months after our wedding, there was no way I was going to be able to use those cute holiday clothes from my honeymoon.
So that is where this story starts! The gains & loses, the ups & downs of my early 20's!
When I was in Cuba this time, I was once again thankful to be in a charming country, at a beautiful resort, enjoying wonderful weather and copious amounts of food and beer. We went to a lively baseball game that was one to remember, we took a moped into town to see the sights and we soaked up the sun at the swim up bar. However, this time my favourite things were our 8 mile run along the beach and a 5km run that turned into a hike through a forest & bat caves. The best part of the trip though (other than the company), is that I don't mind looking at the pictures we took. I'm still the same as I was eight years ago in many ways, but different in many others. Most importantly, I'm so much more HAPPY.
J, finally had time to read your posts. You are completely insane and sane at the same time. Make sense? Ha you have such courage to expose yourself like this. Every woman's demon is her weight and you are showing us how you conquered it. Congratulations!!!
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