I got to know Heather as a princess who is a tad obsessive (if you don't know her this probably seems a bit harsh, but if you do you're probably nodding your head!). She is an awesome soccer player and played with the Huskies. She writes emails that contain a lot of capitals and exclamation points and she likes to wear bright clothes that reflect her vibrant personality. She is emotional, but lighthearted and quick to make fun of herself. She has many friends, we could never go very far without her knowing somebody. We are both CCFs (Closet Country Fans) and enjoyed many a good road trip singing along. We had a lot of fun during those four years.
When I got engaged, I asked Heather to be my maid of honour. She helped plan all the silly details. We shopped for fabric, bought my dress, picked out the photographer, had our makeup done a seemingly endless number of times trying to find one that my skin could handle, we went to the bridal fairs, she and her mom (Barb) threw me a wonderful shower and when the day finally came she was by my side.
My husband and I then spent six years living in northern Saskatchewan. Heather made the trip up to Beauval often and we had some fun adventures!
While I was living in Cumberland House, Heather went to Edmonton where she went to the UofA to become an occupational therapist. The nine hour drive between the two places meant that we didn't get to see each other as often, but we always kept in touch. When she finished school she came back to Saskatoon and started her career.
In October 2005, I got an alarming email from Heather. She had borrowed a computer at the nurses' station to let me know that she needed to have emergency brain surgery. By the time I was able to get down to Saskatoon, she was out of surgery and smiling. She was quick to poke fun at her uneven new haircut! The surgery had gone well, but part of the tumour remained because it was wrapped around an artery.
She recovered and in February when I had my first baby, Barb drove her to Prince Albert to meet him.
Heather returned to work and the summer of 2006 I moved to Warman. We were again able to see each other more often. However, I look back on this period and regret not spending more time together. I was busy with my overwhelming new role as a parent and she was busy with her career.
However, we always kept in touch and Barb got my family and I into a fantastic doctor for whom she nurses, so I saw her quite often. In 2009 I had my second baby and he required a major surgery when he was 5.5 months old. By that time Heather had switched to an O.T. position at the Royal University Hospital and she came up to see us each day that we were there. It was just like we had never skipped a beat. Having Barb at the doctor's office and Heather with us at the hospital was more of a comfort than I can express.
Finally, last year we decided that we needed to make a point of seeing each other more often. Together, we joined a bookclub that meets once a month. We read the books and went to the meetings, but when everybody else left after the hour, we lingered for a couple more drinks and a chance to catch up. The books were good, but the company was even better!
However, Heather had already started experiencing some of the old symptoms of her tumour. She had been to Winnipeg for an additional treatment that aimed to shrink it, but a follow up scan last March confirmed what she feared, the tumour was growing again. The nausea she experienced because of it made it impossible for Heather to work. She begrudgingly took a sick leave. When she was feeling well enough we would meet for a walk by the river and on the days when she wasn't up to it, we would just pick a bench and sit.
In July, she had a second surgery. Only, this time, there were complications. Heather's vision, speech and mobility were affected; and again, part of the tumour remained. With her parents by her side, she stayed in the hospital where she underwent rehab and had radiation to shrink the tumour. When she finally got to go home, she had made good progress and they were hopeful that she would fully recover within a year's time. We never really entertained the idea that things could get worse...but they did.
In October, she started experiencing pain in her hip. She went for a scan and they discovered multiple tumours in multiple locations throughout her body. The only treatment that was available, was additional radiation on the tumour in her hip to help manage the pain it was causing. Eventually it was confirmed that the tumours were cancer. Heather did not want to stay in the hospital and her parents have honoured her wish and have taken her home.
Throughout all of this, Heather has always had a smile on her face and she has never felt sorry for herself. When I asked her once if she was finding it difficult to adjust, she answered, "Yeah it is, but I don't have much choice. I'll figure it out." She is a fighter and has taken everything in stride, right up until this last diagnosis, Heather held out hope that she would somehow get better.
When I ask if there's anything I can do to help out she says, "Please just keep coming to see me, I'm happy when you're here". So that's what I do. I go as often as I can. When I can't get away on my own, my boys come with me. Sometimes we talk about silly things that don't matter. Sometimes we talk about the important stuff. Sometimes we don't talk at all. I am thankful for this time together.
I asked Heather if it would be alright with her if I did these twelve runs and tried to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society. She thought it was a great idea! Over the years, she has also dappled in running. Last winter she was training to run the 10km at the Sask. Marathon when she was forced to stop. In fact, when we were talking a couple weeks ago, she confirmed that she would have totally been on board to join me in at least one of these runs!
This may all seem a bit detailed or too in-depth, but I just think that if you were fortunate enough to know Heather like I do, you would understand where I'm coming from. Although I feel helpless because there is nothing we can do to make Heather better, I am hopeful that by supporting the Canadian Cancer Society and their research, maybe there will be treatments available to people like her in the future. For now, I'm going to enjoy her company while I can.
Shortly after I wrote this page, Heather lost her fight against cancer. On January 8, 2012, at the age of 31, Heather passed away peacefully at home surrounded by the love of her family & friends.
Shortly after I wrote this page, Heather lost her fight against cancer. On January 8, 2012, at the age of 31, Heather passed away peacefully at home surrounded by the love of her family & friends.
